


Angel

by bottomkuroo



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, I'm Bad At Tagging, Kind of a sad realistic concept so dont read it if you dont like that kind of thing ?? D:, M/M, Sad ending I guess?, past jackbum, wedding universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-25
Updated: 2017-08-25
Packaged: 2018-12-19 17:48:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11902965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bottomkuroo/pseuds/bottomkuroo
Summary: The wedding!au no one ever wanted nor asked for.





	Angel

**Author's Note:**

> I had this idea for a while, and I just recently decided to write it. I'm not sure, but I wanted to try this. As always, this is so short >///< will you guys like this, tho? 
> 
> Also, remember feedbacks are always, always welcome :) all the love xxxx
> 
> (Angel - The Weeknd)

Wedding.

Jaebum never really pictured anything extravagant, never really planned on getting married to anyone in his life before, if he was honest.

 

(If he was honest, he knew it was some dream his parents wanted for him, but because he never really loved, nor liked anyone enough, the idea of marrying someone simply seemed too far from what he could get. If he was honest, he would admit that deep down he wished he could find someone he'd fancy enough and with whom he'd want to spend his days.)

 

He never thought that he would be, now of all times, getting ready to go on that aisle, waiting for his beloved to say yes to him.

He looks at himself over the mirror, and feels nervous by the minute, a smile across his face, his thoughts wandering elsewhere. 

 

 

 

-

 

 

_Jackson was the sun, the brightest star he could ever meet while he was himself more like a cloud. As much as it can sound pessimist, Jaebum is pretty sure he wasn't enough for someone like Jackson, but Jackson never asked anything from him, or at least never anything he knew Jaebum couldn't give to him. Their relationship grew stronger as the years passed, and Jaebum never thought it could be possible to love someone this much._

_There's this saying, that you never know what love is until you get hit by it, and when it hits you, all the lyrics, melodies and pretty things make sense to you. It's a dumb saying, but in Jackson's touch he could feel like the whole universe was so small in comparison, so maybe that dumb saying did make some sense, somehow._

 

_Meeting Jackson was like greeting a hurricane in a sunny day. It was full of contradictions, it was confusing, and yet simple. It was warm, and meaningful because that's the kind of person Wang Jackson is. They met randomly, by similar acquaintances, and it clicked. It clicked so easily, and Jaebum wasn't sure if that friendship could even work out, because they were far from similar._

_But they did._

_And Jaebum fell in love for the first time, and his feelings were overwhelming. It was like being crushed, or being punch in the face and yet asking for more of that pain. It was wrong because they were friends, and they were both guys, and Jackson was a loving person with to much love to give to the whole world, so he couldn't just like him back, right? Jaebum wasn't that special._

_The funny thing about life, is how it can fuck your mind, and brain, and twist in directions you would never guess. The nice thing about life is when things turn out great, and you end up confessing to someone who tells you they actually like you back. So maybe, maybe life isn't always that bad._

_And so, they started dating 7 years ago._

 

 

-

 

 

"Jaebummie, you look so pretty" Mark says as he pinches Jaebum's cheek, making the latter smile sheepishly. "Are you ready?"

"I hope I am."

"Do you want a drink? You look a little--" Mark says, patting his friend's shoulder. "Or maybe you want a cigarette? You look nervous."

"I'm getting married. Of course I am," Jaebum chuckles, but Mark is right, isn't he? He feels a cold sweat, and there's this taste at the back of his throat he can't get rid off. "Maybe a cigarette."

 

-

 

 

_The first years they dated were nothing but meaningless fights over food, about Jackson wanting all of Jaebum's attention for him, about Jaebum thinking Jackson should stop flirting with everyone--you know, nothing serious. After two years of dating, they moved together._

_Living with Jackson was messy, but Jaebum didn't mind. They almost never cooked, Jackson's mum coming over and spanking her son for the mess and the lack of real food. They bought clothes for both of them because sharing clothes was easier. Living with Jackson was easy, lazy, never boring, always talking, kissing, touching, fucking, fighting and cuddling._

_It really was amazing._

 

 

-

 

 

"He hates the smell of cigarettes," Jaebum whispers more to himself, but Mark hears anyway and his eyes are now on him. Jaebum looks back at him, not sure of what to do of that gaze. He chuckles as he puts the cigarette back between his lips. "It's been years since I last smoke."

"I shouldn't have ask you if you wanted to," Mark says, and Jaebum simply smiles. "You look creepy when you smile like that."

"Isn't my best man supposed to cheer me up and tell me I look handsome?"

"Jaebum-ah..." Mark says, with a frown. And he's about to say something but something about Jaebum's behavior makes him stop.

 

 

-

 

 

 _When Jaebum proposed to Jackson, it wasn't really romantic, or emotional, or cheesy. It was simple, private. He asked him the first day of spring as they were eating and drinking coffee at their usual café--at that same café where they had their first date, and first kiss, and first_ "I really like you" _and first_ "I think I love you".

 

_(So yeah, maybe it was romantic, emotional and cheesy, but Jackson liked it and that's all that mattered.)_

 

_Jackson's parents were always, since day one, opened to their relationship. So they were obviously the first to know. After what, they told their closest friends, and after a few months they decided to tell Jaebum's parents._

_"I need to smoke," Jaebum whispered._

_"You need to breathe. Don't worry, we'll do this together."_

_"I really, really need to smoke, Jackseunie," Jaebum pouted and Jackson grinned, kissing his cheek softly. "That's sweet but it doesn't help."_

_"After this, after we tell them, you'll smoke as much as you want. Just not now."_

_"Why?"_

_"Bacause," Jackson said on his tiptoes, his hands at the back of Jaebum's neck, wide eyes and cutest smile, "I want to kiss you, and I like it more when it doesn't taste like cigarette."_

 

 

-

 

 

"Jaebum-shi, five minutes before it starts."

Jaebum nods to the wedding planner noona, taking another deep breath. Staying outside of the church is probably not the best idea, because everyone who sees him asks him if he's doing alright, if he's nervous, if he needs anything when really, the only thing he needs right now is to stay on his own and to actually breathe.

His thoughts are as wild as ever, and as much as he tries not to think to much he ends up thinking even more about Jackson. He chuckles, thinking how ironic this all is, and how Jackson's ghost will probably always haunt him even if he hasn't seen him in years.

 

 

-

 

 

_It didn't went well. Jaebum's parents were disgusted, and it hurt. It hurt both of them, and as much as Jaebum wanted to keep their relationship going, it wasn't the same._

_Their fights were more serious, more longer. Jaebum's bad temper didn't help. Jackson's attitude didn't either._

_They stopped sharing clothes, they started sleeping somewhere else, at someone else's house or at least not in the same room. They started touch less, and kiss less, and they kept on fighting until they both knew it wouldn't work out._

_They broke up 3 years ago, and Jaebum begged forgiveness from his parents and agreed to marry whoever they wanted._

 

 

-

 

 

Jaebum looks at Park Jamie walking the aisle, coming toward the altar. He can't help his smile, because she looks gorgeous--she always is, but now she's even more radiant. She's walking up to him, and people are cooing and smiling and cheering. She's smiling brightly, and Jaebum's eyes are glued to her every step, thinking this is the girl he'll spend the rest of his life with, and thinking it will be perfect. 

They dated for two years before he proposed, and now here they are and yes. Jaebum is happy.

As she comes to the altar and the priest starts talking, he smiles at her, and smiles at Mark who's seemed worried since the start of the day. 

 

(Well, he can't blame him. Jaebum has being unstable the whole day so.)

 

He looks at his mum and dad, who are sitting in the front, both with tears in their eyes and Jaebum smiles at them, trying to tell them not to worry.

His eyes wander a little before he feels his blood freeze under his skin, his eyes locking into someone's brown, puppy eyes and he feels once again a nervous sweat going down his spine, his legs shaking a little, dizziness taking over his brain.

 

_Why are you here?_

 

Jackson is there, sitting at the back, and as much as he tried not to be noticed and to be discreet, of course Jaebum would notice him. Of course he would see him, and recognize the features he was once in love, infatuated, enamoured with. Of course he'll notice the way he was looking at him, how his eyes and smile never changed, how his hair would look the softest and how sharp he'd look.

 

_Why are you here? Have you been okay all this time?_

 

Jackson is smiling at him, and Jaebum smiles at him. How nostalgic. Gosh, he really loved him, didn't he?

 

_Are you doing okay? Did you forgive me? Did you forget me? Are you with someone?_

 

Jackson's eyes are glued to him, and Jaebum's eyes are as well. He can hear the priest still talking, and he's pretty sure Jamie, and Mark, and everyone is wondering who the hell he's looking at but he doesn't care. Right now, Jackson is there and it's been ages since the last time he saw him, so sue him. He'll keep on staring. He was his first love, after all.

 

_Are you with someone?_

 

But Jackson seems alone. And Jaebum notices the bags under his eyes, and the redness in them, and how puffy they are and he feels his own heart beating loudly inside his cage, so loud he feels like it could burst out at any moment.

 

_Have you cried? Was it because of me?_

 

And Jackson keeps on smiling, but the more he smiles and the more it looks broken, and fake, and nothing like what Jaebum remembers. Jackson doesn't look okay, doesn't look fine at all.

 

_Do you still love me? Do you? Will you stop my wedding? Why are you here?_

 

But it's too late, isn't? It's too late, and Jackson knows as much as Jaebum does. So when Jackson stands up quietly and leaves the church, Jaebum's eyes desperately try to reach for him, for what's left of his presence until he's not there anymore. 

When he looks back at Jamie, she looks at him with concern, asking if everything is fine, and why he's crying.

He fakes a smile, trying to convince himself that everything is fine, wiping the tears he didn't know had fallen.

 

 

-

 

 

_They were lying on the bed, sheets covering both of them entirely as they were cuddling and listening to some western song Jackson liked. Jackson was breathing softly against his neck, kissing the soft skin at times and chuckling when Jaebum was asking him to stop because it tickled too much._

_"Mine," Jackson whispered against him, taking the sheets off so he could get a better look at the elder. "If I ever see you with someone else, I'll fight them."_

_"Really?" Jaebum chuckled, eyes like crescent and the dimple by his cheekbone showing._

_"Well, maybe not. But they'll know you're mine, so they'll back off," Jackson said with a cheeky smile._

_"Like I would ever be with anyone else than you," Jaebum said, kissing the top of his head._


End file.
